Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Jessica:            Jen, you fox, welcome to the podcast. What would you like a reading about?

Jen:                  Thanks for having me. So my question is, how do I interpret the career and vocational aspects of my chart if I'm too disabled to work or have any meaningful hobbies or vocational pursuits?

Jessica:            Okay. Such an important question. I'm going to pull up your chart in a minute, and I'm going to answer it more specific to you. And I should actually ask you, what level of study are you at with astrology? Are you in fandom land? Are you beginning? Are you advanced?

Jen:                  I'm definitely more in the beginner fandom area.

Jessica:            Awesome. Okay. Great, because when you're first learning and you Google things/you look at blog posts, some books, it's really, essentially, a bunch of keywords. And it's really misleading because there's no point, planet, or sign or aspect in astrology that exclusively speaks to vocation, labor, or career.  There are points that speak to those things in addition to several other things. And the way that this works—this is where the wind hits the sails with astrology. It's that we're looking at energy and how energy functions in multitude of ways within one thing.

                        So one can not have a home and still have a fourth house in astrology. So you have a place you would look to for housing or for home, and you might not have a home at a particular time, and that doesn't change. Same thing with career and hobby. And does that make sense, first of all?

Jen:                  Yes. You are basically saying that maybe as a beginner just learning, I might look to the tenth house for career, for example, but that's not—there are many homes in which the career and vocational aspects might live.

Jessica:            Yes, and the tenth house specifically—so there's the tenth house and the Midheaven, which is the tenth-house cusp. Those two really do speak about career, but that's only one element of it because it's also your conscious life objective. There's so many people who don't have careers for so many reasons. Many people don't have hobbies for many reasons. But there's a conscious life objective. That's your Midheaven and your tenth house. There's your reputation, what you're known for. That's your Midheaven and your tenth house.

                        There's also what you dedicate your life to because, if you think about the birth chart in astrology, the tenth house is the highest point. And so the way I think about the chart is kind of like a tree. All of the houses—so, basically, the twelfth house through the seventh house—they're the top of the tree. They're the leaves. And then the fourth house, which is the lowest point—it's the root system. So it's your family of origin. It's your home life. It's your innermost psychology.

                        But then, when we go back up to that top, the tenth house, it's where the light hit the leaves, right? We can think about it in the context of career, and we do in a capitalistic, post-industrial world. But it's not the only thing because let's say somebody is a parent and never really has a career. Then parenthood becomes that conscious life objective, although a lot of parents—it's not their conscious life objective to parent, but it's what they've done. So it's still the tenth house, but we're looking at it now from another angle. Does that track?

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            I love that. Okay. Let me pull up your chart. So you were born January 16th, 1987. Not everybody needs to know where and when.

Jen:                  Thank you.

Jessica:            My pleasure. We're keeping it private. And in your birth chart, there's two things because I really like that you name hobbies because there's different layers of labor. So there's career, and then there's the things you're doing day to day. Those day-to-day things are sixth house. Career is Midheaven. Did you, at one point, have a career?

Jen:                  Yes. Until 2020, I had a very flourishing career. I was an academic, and so that involved everything for my day-to-day tasks to bigger things like publishing and research and presenting and collaborating with colleagues. And I had worked at that career pretty much since I was an undergraduate in college all the way up into when I became too disabled to work.

Jessica:            And were you in the sciences?

Jen:                  No. I was in the social sciences.

Jessica:            Social sciences. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I only asked that because of the way you talked about it—

Jen:                  Yeah. Of course.

Jessica:            —not actually astrological. Yeah.

Jen:                  Yeah. So really—we can think of it as how systems and people interact with each other was basically my area of focus.

Jessica:            And do you miss it?

Jen:                  I do miss it a lot, but I think that's a hard question as a disabled person because my brain just doesn't work the same way that it used to. So I do miss being able to do all that stuff. But I mean, now, I can't even sit down and read through a paper of something that should be easy for me anymore.

Jessica:            So I actually just had a conversation with somebody who told me how much they absolutely hate it when people say, "I'm sorry." So my impulse is to say I'm sorry, and I want to just actually check in first and be like, do you hate it when people say that?

Jen:                  No. I mean, I think that I'm somebody who understands that people have their own way of expressing goodwill, and so I try to take the intention behind it.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. So that's coded for you don't love hearing it.

Jen:                  Well, it's just hard when it's something that's immovable and unchangeable.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Jen:                  So I appreciate the feelings of being sorry, and I want to hold that feeling in other people. But for me, no, I have done a lot to process that that part of my life is just no more.

Jessica:            You're speaking peak Capricorn stuff right now, right?

Jen:                  Oh, yeah, I really am.

Jessica:            And I am a Capricorn, so I really appreciate it. It's like the labor of coming to acceptance means living in the present with the thing.

Jen:                  Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            Respect. Yes. So my question for you, then, is your inquiry really deeply—is it just astrology? Did you really just ask me something about astrology broadly, or is it something about you more specifically?

Jen:                  Well, I guess it's both, right? But also because I think, in my specific context—so let's say that talking about a greater life purpose beyond just what somebody might do for some organization, whether that's paid or unpaid labor, but a greater life purpose—my greater life purpose involves all the different aspects of taking care of myself.

And that might include things like scheduling doctor's appointments, doing many doctor's appointments, my medication schedules, my infusions, my injections, paperwork, being on the phone with insurance, being on the phone with the pharmacy, being on the phone with government assistance programs, all the paperwork involved in disability because disability insurance is not a one-and-done. Most people think, oh, I apply for disability, and then you get on disability and that's it; the government's taking care of you. But actually, you have to go through a review every 18 months to 7 years, and they don't even tell you when that's going to happen.

Jessica:            Wow.

Jen:                  So that's one aspect, is all the stuff. I have double stuff I have to do. But then there's another aspect, which is all the things involved in actually taking care of myself. And that's like a whole other aspect but is just as much my larger life's pursuit right now. And that might be following my treatment plan, meditating every day, doing my breath work, making sure I'm eating right, making sure that I'm resting enough that I'm actually in my eye mask and my earplugs when I need to be, that I'm not overdoing it.

                        But I don't do that fun thing that I might want to do so that I can eat and take care of myself later. So there are sort of these two competing aspects when I, for example, look at one of your readings or read one of your podcasts. And so, for me personally, all those different parts are sort of floating around in, what is my larger life's goal right now?

Jessica:            Okay. I can speak to that, and I really appreciate you actually parsing it out. As I said about the Midheaven or the tenth house, it's like where the sunlight touches the top of the leaves. But in the body of the tree, if you will, is the North Node. And what you're talking about is not exactly the Midheaven. And it sounds like you've had a really rich, full dynamic, probably pretty consuming career. And so I understand why you would think of it as a career issue.

                        What you're actually speaking to is your North Node, which—the North Node in astrology speaks to your soul's purpose, your soul's journey in this lifetime, the meaning your soul is meant to develop an embodied relationship with. And that, for some people, has to do with work—for many people, has nothing to do with work. For some people, it's something that no one really can see, and for other people, it's very external.

                        Your North Node—and interrupt me with questions as you have them. Your North Node is in Aries. And this placement means that you have come here on a spiritual level, on a soul level, to choose you, to really figure out who you are and what you need and to center it. And this is not exclusive at all to your physical health, but certainly, at this stage of your life, that tracks, right?

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            It tracks in a really literal, material way. It's like what you're sharing is so much about you have to be tending to yourself on a level that is pretty consuming, right? It's really important; otherwise, how do you maintain?

Jen:                  Yes. And that's been—in terms of the relationships that I have in my life, that's the most difficult thing to explain to people, is that yes, I want to be doing all of these things that people recommend to me or want me to be doing with them, but if I do that, it's at the cost of my physical health. And I might not be able to take a shower that week if I go and do this one thing.

Jessica:            Right.

Jen:                  And that tending to myself is definitely—that's all there is room for. And so I think that's what makes it so difficult for me to interpret my horoscopes and my chart at this junction.

Jessica:            Yeah. That makes sense. Listen. In your birth chart, you've got this Jupiter conjunction to the Descendant, Jupiter opposite the Ascendant. It might be written in either way. This natal aspect means that when there's not some sort of really big reason like disability or a major career moment, you're on 24 hours a day with people. You're like, "Let's go. Let's try it. Let's go. Let's try it." Does that track?

Jen:                  Yes. I would say that in both a professional and personal context, people do come to me often with their needs. And sometimes that need is, "I need just to go have fun," but sometimes, yeah, more of the other stuff. But I'm definitely a person that is ready to try it, no matter what it is.

Jessica:            Totally.

Jen:                  Like, "Okay. You want to do this thing? I'm game for it. I think it's going to go horribly. I'm not going to say that. Let's go."

Jessica:            "Let's just throw it to the wall and see what happens."

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            And so that habit of how you've been throughout your life is partially your nature, and it's partially a habit you developed because it's a high-functioning habit, right? It gets shit done.

Jen:                  Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            It connects you with people and experiences. It's helpful to other people. And when your health crisis—if I can call it that—

Jen:      Sure.

Jessica:            Okay. When your health crisis occurred and it shifted everything for you, it made you have to do this total about-face where you no longer can just say, "Let's go. Let's try it. I'm down for whatever. Terrible idea? I'll put all my energy behind it. Exciting idea? Let's go." It stopped being viable for you. What this did on a number—there are so many levels on which I could speak to it, but staying focused on your question about meaning and purpose and what your work is, it's being able to say to people, "Yeah, I love this idea for you. And it's not a great idea for me, but I can talk on the phone about it for a half hour," or whatever the case may be.

Jen:                  Whatever my capacity is. Yeah.

Jessica:            Exactly. Whatever your capacity is. And this is not your comfort zone, saying to people socially and personally, "I have a limit and I have a need. Let's do it this way." Because you do have a Sun/Mercury conjunction in Capricorn, it's not like you don't know how to say things in an organized-sounding way. It's not that you don't know how to articulate need. It's that it's just not your comfort zone to do so.

Jen:                  Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            And it doesn't feel like what you'd prefer to do. And so this brings us back to, when it comes to purpose and meaning, this North Node in Aries—and it's in Aries in the seventh house, so it's in the house of relationships. Your calling, as I would put it right now, is to know yourself, tend to yourself in an embodied way, and relate to others and invite them in, as much as is appropriate, from that place instead of hopping out of that relationship to self to meet others and go on whatever crazy adventures they want to go on.

Jen:                  Mm-hmm. I mean, I think it's the other part of this, too, is that I deeply don't like making other people uncomfortable.

Jessica:            Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jen:                  So, as you're talking, I'm like, oh, yeah, I mean, that sounds like a good pursuit to really make sure that I can think of my work as, how well am I checking in with telling people what my needs are in my personal relationships? But yeah, I mean, this is, I guess—when you become disabled or when you go through a health crisis, it becomes very difficult to keep those close relationships at the soul level. Maybe the other person on the other end of the relationship isn't even aware of the shift, but I am.

                        And I think—I don't know if this is in my chart or if you can see this, but people have, throughout my life, complimented me on my generosity of spirit, which is maybe a little of what you're talking about.

Jessica:            It is completely, 100 percent what I'm talking about. Yes.

Jen:                  Yeah. But people just do not like to think about tragedy and hear about tragedy, and that's 100 percent of what my life is. So there are a couple of very special people that can be in the darkness with me and just be like, "Oh, wow, you have a sickness that's not curable. That means you're sick forever? Forever ever?" And most people—they can't process that, and so my relationship with them has become very surface.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Jen:                  There are, like I said, a couple special people who can process, "Oh, you have a sickness, and you're never going to be better. So this is just you now." But that's very—that's the rare person.

Jessica:            Right. It is. And I want to hang out with you in that because that is very real, and it's not because of any part of your chart. This is about other people. This is about the society we live in and our capacity to slow down and our capacity to process our own shit so that we can show up for the people that we care about. And so many of us don't do that for a variety of reasons, so I want to just acknowledge that.

                        And also, I'm going to bring you back to two things. One thing is you have Jupiter, as I mentioned, right on your Descendant. It's in Pisces. Generosity of spirit are the keywords, okay? It's a part of your chart that is so lovely. It's like what is the opposite of friction? It's just ease and flow. And so you probably functioned out of it a huge amount, and now, because of what's happening with your physical health and, I imagine, cascading effects of emotional/mental health, spiritual health stuff, you can't over-rely on that part.

                        There's two things I want to name. One is you're a Capricorn with a Mercury conjunction to your Sun. I mean, we can be bummers. You know? We can be bummers, and deep inside our soul, we're kind of bummers sometimes. We can hang out in that heaviness—not all Capricorns, but certainly that is a quality.

                        And then I want to come back to that nodal placement because this is the story of the nodes as I understand it and as I work with it. The North Node, or the dragon's head, as it's called, is where your soul is journeying towards in this lifetime. Now, the South Node, or the dragon's tail, is where you were in most previous incarnations. And we all come into this life with a memory of having had to work really hard on our South Node and that that was the thing we needed to do in order to be whole and happy. And when we try to do it in this lifetime, it blows up in our face. It does not work.

But it's called the dragon's head and the dragon's tail because you can't separate them. They are interconnected. They're a part of where you've been and then where you're going. And so where you've been, your South Node, was Libra. Centering other people, centering relationships, never making other people uncomfortable if you didn't have to, being diplomatic—that's what you've done. It's like you can actually check it off your list. Check. Check. Okay?

And now, in this lifetime and certainly in this part of your lifetime, that's not the thing you need to come to mastery around. That's not the lesson you're here to learn. How to not make other people uncomfortable with your reality is actually—that's not your job. And that doesn't mean that part of your job isn't self-care and that it's a pain in your ass to be around other people when they're [crosstalk].

Jen:                  Well, no. I mean—right, but it's actually—this kind of ties back to some of what you were saying about that tenth house and also just—so there are times where I must do that because I am dealing with a Social Security person, let's say, or I must do that because I am dealing with a doctor who doesn't want to take me seriously, or I must do that—you know?

But that discernment between what is it that I have to do—so you said something about how parents are—their vocation might be parenthood, even if that isn't what they are choosing as their big life purpose. I kind of feel like what you're getting at and what I'm hearing is, okay, maybe it's discernment, like some of this being a sick person that is doing these kind of things, leaning on my strength and ways to basically do my job well—and then others, though, are like the slippery relationship stuff that is all tied in also.

Jessica:            So there's two things I want to say, and I also want to just very briefly check in on how you're feeling. Are you [crosstalk]?

Jen:                  I'm doing okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay.

Jen:                  Thank you.

Jessica:            My pleasure. Okay. First thing is that nodal axis is in your personal relationship line. So that stuff I'm saying is not as much about—

Jen:                  Got it.

Jessica:            —those relationships. It's more about your bestie or your friends, colleagues, allies, community members, or people you're dating or in love relationships with—like one-on-one close relationships, personal relationships. But that brings us to something else about your Midheaven, which I haven't named, which you may have noticed, is that you have a Chiron conjunction on your Midheaven. So this placement makes it unsurprising that your career, when you were working in education, was looking at systems that are inherently broken, essentially, that need healing, right? That was essentially your focus?

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            Yeah. Classic Chiron conjunction to the Midheaven. Chiron is the wounded healer. And so having a Chironic Midheaven, as you do, would indicate that your calling is around these systems or ideas around systems because it's in Gemini, understanding people's place in it, and making sense of it in some ways or maybe bringing some sort of reform to it.

                        But now you've become the—I don't want to put this on you. I don't like it when people are like, "You're the wounded healer. You're [indiscernible 00:23:09]. You're"—I don't want to put that shit on you at all. But we can see, okay, so that part of your life is not what's happening anymore. Now you're in a different part of your life where you are dealing with wounds, and you are on—when I say a healing journey, I don't mean healing to a destination. I'm talking more about acknowledging, yeah, you have to limit the amount of time that you hang out on a phone call with a friend, or you need to meditate. If you don't meditate, your system is going to be like, "Why'd you do that?" Right?

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            And that is a healing journey because it's the journey of working with yourself in your life in a way that is promoting of your own wellness, which includes getting along with people sometimes, even if they're bugging with you, because you want people in your life.

Jen:                  Yeah.

Jessica:            That's part of it, right?

Jen:                  Yeah. And understanding, too, that most of the time, it's not personal; it's that they feel so—they have such a deep feeling when I tell them about my disability or when I tell them about my limitations that it changes the nature of our relationship. And that discomfort, because of everything you've just described about me, is something that I'm very sensitive to. And whether or not I decide to push through that or not, I'm aware that it's happening. But I'm also aware of the fact that it's not that person's fault. They just have a strong feeling right now.

Jessica:            Yeah. And you don't have to answer this question. I don't want to derail from your question. But I have thoughts on what people should and should not say. I wonder if you have ideas about what would be helpful when people are triggered or activated in a way where they don't know how to respond or they get overwhelmed by their own feelings about what you're sharing with your health. Do you have things that you're just like, "I just wish people could do x, y, or z"?

Jen:                  I think yeah. I think if people need time to process, then they should do that. And I think it's the follow-up on that. I have had people in my life who—maybe our relationship became a little more surface, but then they did some independent research or they watched  a documentary or other things and were like, "Wow. I didn't realize that this is what you were going through." And so that allowed another entry point into our relationship.

                        So I think, I guess, not on—if you're doing anti-racist work or any other social justice work, sitting with that feeling and actually trying to unpack that feeling in yourself. And maybe that means relying on outside resources because more knowledge can help you feel less visceral fear of that sort of tragedy.

Jessica:            Yeah. Spoken like a professor. You know? "Educate yourself, fools. Educate yourself." I really respect that.

Jen:                  But it's okay if you need time.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Jen:                  I think that's the biggest thing I would say, is if you do feel triggered, I mean, I think it's okay to take time and actually process that and not feel you have to barrel through the interaction.

Jessica:            Yes. Okay. And then I have a question around this because something I observe is that I think people are like, "I need to express empathy," but then what they express is sympathy, which can come off as pity or it can come off as self-centeredness. Have you noticed that as well?

Jen:                  I just don't interpret it that way. I really try to—because I think about who I was before I became disabled, and I thought I was not ableist at all. I was on all these committees. I've done all this work. But there were aspects to myself where I probably said something to somebody that was sympathy and not empathy.

So I don't know. I mean, I don't interpret it that way personally because I think all good—I try to just say, "That person is trying to give me a good feeling. That person is trying to say that they aren't put off by this. That person is trying to indicate support."

                        So I think because I just have a lot of understanding for people with good intentions, probably, like I said, because I became disabled a little later in life—but yeah, I don't personally take it that way, because I try to just read the intention behind it. So I think don't be afraid to mess up with disabled people, I guess, is the message there. If you are being kind and generous and authentically like, "I am here to support you," if you mess up your words, that is so fixable.

Jessica:            Yes. Okay. I think that's really helpful for people to hear. And it is going to land different in different people, right? Disabled people, like any other people, are not monolithic. But it's really helpful to just hear that.

Jen:                  I think that universally, though, disabled people do feel bad when we're ignored.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Jen:                  And so I think just don't be afraid.

Jessica:            Yes. Okay. Yes. All of that. I was being that emoji—you know that emoji?

Jen:                  Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            That's what I was doing, and I was like, why am I speaking emoji? But you get it. You get it. Okay. I really appreciate you sharing that. Now, I'm also, again, being mindful of your time and energy. So I just want to make sure, did we answer your question? Is anything lingering?

Jen:                  Yeah. I mean, I guess thinking about how I might interpret, literally, a horoscope.

Jessica:            You mean like a Sun sign horoscope, like, "Capricorn, your week is blah, blah, blah"?

Jen:                  Or not even that. Like looking at the—for example, okay. There was just these Virgo/Pisces Eclipses that happened over the course of two years, and they touched on a lot of aspects of my career and vocational chart. So, when I see something like that, how might I try to use my discernment to apply those sort of—

Jessica:            I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying.

Jen:                  Right.

Jessica:            Okay. So there's two things about that. One is your question tells me that you're consuming, maybe, like, blog-post astrology.

Jen:                  Well, I pretty much read transcripts, so—

Jessica:            So you're reading transcripts from podcasts—

Jen:                  Yeah, pretty much.

Jessica:            —specifically? Okay. So this is one of those things where it's like, okay, what you're referring to is a little tricky for me to respond to, only because that's not how I'm interpreting those Eclipses. I'm going to focus and try to just take it as an example.

Whenever we are going through anything, we can break it down to the energetics behind the advice that the astrology is focusing on. So the advice that the astrology is focusing on when you're reading the transcript about those Eclipses or that Eclipse axis over the course of two years—you might pull away some of the specifics of what they're talking about and focus on what Virgo/Pisces axis is about. It's about physical and spiritual health.

Jen:      Right. Okay.

Jessica:            It's about your mental health habits and your day-to-day material habits.

Jen:                  And my day-to-day material habits might look very different than your regular capitalistic—

Jessica:            Absolutely.

Jen:                  Right. Okay.

Jessica:            Yep, and also very different than they did, maybe, this month from last month. Maybe last month, you had a lot less—right?

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            It exists in a spectrum, and your spectrum is going to be different than what a lot of astrology speaks to because of the world.

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            And this is, again, part of where you may want to recognize, okay, the astrology—and this is part of you choosing you, right, is that the astrology that you consume—if it doesn't make sense, if it doesn't track, or if it makes you feel bad, find other astrology because the good news about, for instance, astrology is there's fucking so much astrology out there. And recognizing that the patterns that are at play that some people might say, "Oh, this is what it means for dating"—well, maybe you're not dating. "This is what it means for career." Well, career is not what's up for you at this time.

                        But when you can look at the advice outside of the context that the astrologer is presenting it in, then you can actually use it and apply it to your interior life, your habits, and maybe specific to some transits, dealing with government shit. That is going to be very—

Jen:                  Right. Right. That makes sense.

Jessica:            —more easily trackable.

Jen:                  Yes.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Jen:                  And it also kind of just—that's like a nice little bow that ties this conversation up, too, because like you were saying, my job here on Earth is to make people uncomfortable when I need to. And for various reasons, that is difficult for me because that's—because I just walk around and on this Earth making people uncomfortable by my existence, which is not my fault.

Jessica:            No.

Jen:                  It's just an "is."

Jessica:            Mm-hmm. And also, your capacity is really interesting because you're both really sensitive to making other people uncomfortable, and also, your capacity to be like, "Okay, this person's making me uncomfortable, but I can see where they're coming from and I can hold space for it"—it's really interesting that you have both of these things really active in this conversation.

And that generosity that you have such an ease in offering me and other people when they say shit where you're like, "That's not how you say that," or, "Maybe that could feel bad, but I'm going to choose it the way you—with generosity"—you have the skill set. It's about applying it to yourself, recognizing when there's such a big difference between your generosity and patience for others and yourself—

Jen:      Yes.

Jessica:            —and being like, "Okay, that's sus. I have something to learn there. I have more balance." And when you achieve balance between those things, that means maybe sometimes being a little less patient with other people and a little more patient with yourself. It doesn't always have to be 50/50. But you know what I'm saying, right?

Jen:                  I do. Yes.

Jessica:            This is a skill for you to cultivate, whether you like it or not.

Jen:                  Yes. Yes. Very good, very motivational. Thanks, Jessica.

Jessica:            My pleasure. My pleasure. Is there anything else you would want to speak to?

Jen:                  No. I mean, I feel like I have a good understanding of how my own life and chart intersects with what you've been talking about, and I thank you very much for your knowledge and your skills.

Jessica:            Oh.

Jen:                  Yeah, thank you.

Jessica:            It's so my pleasure. And I want to thank you for asking such a great question, not just for yourself, but I think so many people, because I do read questions from so many people, and so many people are dealing with disability, especially in a post-2020 COVID world. And I think this is a really important thing for us to unpack and acknowledge, right? Different abilities, different times, how life can really shrink or really expand—

Jen:                  Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            —and how we need to be there for it.

Jen:                  It's also been really affirming because I think one of the things that I've been—not unhappy with myself about, but just dealing with the reality of my new life—I'm not as sweet and kind as I used to be. I'm just not. Disability changes a person. But it's so validating for you to be like, "No, that's your journey."

Jessica:            Literally. It's literally your job.

Jen:                  Yeah.

Jessica:            And you might want to, in your reading about astrology, tap into Aries. Jan Spiller has a great book on the nodes. You can look that up. And your North Node is in Aries, and it's in the seventh house, just so you have that. And I'm nervous to send you to random blog posts.  I don't know what kind of bullshit is out there on the internet, so just be cautious about that. But you know Aries is ruled by Mars, and Mars governs men and assertion and competition and aggression, and it's not about diplomacy. It's about, "This is what I need for me."

Jen:                  Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            And I know I can feel you already being like, "Man," but that's actually good for you to know—

Jen:                  Yeah.

Jessica:            —that that's the assignment.

Jen:                  Great. Now, what you can probably feel is I'm starting to get a little sweaty and fatigued.

Jessica:            It's okay. So we wrap up.

Jen:                  Yeah. Yeah. Great.

Jessica:            Okay. It's been really a pleasure.

Jen:                  Thank you. Thank you so much, Jessica.

Jessica:            Take good care.

Jen:                  Bye.

Jessica:            Bye.