Welcome to Ghost of a Podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Lanyadoo. I'm an astrologer, psychic medium, and animal communicator, and I'm going to give you your weekly horoscope and no-bullshit mystical advice for living your very best life.

Jessica:            Okay. Mitzy, welcome to the podcast. What would you like a reading about?

Mitzy: I would love some direction in what to do in my life.

Jessica:            Is that all?

Mitzy: That's it. That's all.

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             I am just finishing a huge work project, and I'm trying to figure out what to do next.

Jessica:            Say more. Do you mean what to do next as a human person individual? Do you mean what to do next professionally? What are you really talking about?

Mitzy:             Yeah. I mean I feel like I'm married to my work. So it's professionally. What am I going to do regularly, day to day? But it's also—my work is always just really personal, so—

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to ask you more about your work in a minute, but before I do, is this a question about money and survival, or is this a question about purpose and direction? I mean, it doesn't have to be either/or, but I am curious. How much is survival and the need for money motivating?

Mitzy:             Money is less motivating than purpose for me.

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             I always kind of make things work financially. And if I'm applying for grants and whatever to do the things that I need to be doing, then that's what I'll do.

Jessica:            Okay. And in terms of the project you just finished up, you say it's finished, but is it finished?

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             It's winding down.

Jessica:            Okay. Okay.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And do you feel comfortable to share what the project is?

Mitzy:             Yeah. It's a documentary film. And so, right now, we're in the process of doing an impact campaign. And the film is going to exist forever, and so there's always going to be a little bit of stuff around it, but it won't be like my main project that I'm working on for much longer.

Jessica:            And do you want to continue the work connected to the content of the documentary or connected to documentary filmmaking as a path?

Mitzy:             I'm definitely always going to be connected to the content. I imagine, at some point in the future, I will be doing things related to filmmaking, media, all those kinds of things, because I've been just doing it for years, and I feel like I have a lot to share around that. But I'm not looking to jump into another film project right now.

Jessica:            Okay. Great. Okay. Great. Okay. Let's pull up your birth chart here. You were born April 8th, 1980, in Prince George, British Columbia, Canada, at 1:33 a.m.

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm. It's so pointy.

Jessica:            Charts are pointy. Charts are really pointy. It's a thing about birth charts that a lot of people don't expect. These are all aspects, all these lines in the middle. And what they're doing is literally pointing at each other. That's called aspects. And what that articulates is the conversations that the planets are having with each other. And that speaks to your nature, basically. It's like, "How much spice is in the stew?" kind of stuff. Do you know what I mean?

Mitzy:             It's so spicy.

Jessica:            There's a lot of spice in yours, too. I won't lie to you. You got a whole lot of spice. Nobody needs to add salt. You're good. You're good. So there's a lot of things to talk about here, but I want to take a moment to just start with your birth chart nature, okay? You have a T-square between Pluto, the Moon, and the Sun. What this speaks to is how driven you are to create and destroy things that have meaning to you. So, if you are in a state of—if you're driven to make something or to break something down—which often are actually connected, right? When you're making something, it's to tear down a system or to tear down a lie or build up a truth or something, right? It is all-consuming for you, like literally all-consuming, right?

Mitzy:             Correct.

Jessica:            So there's that part of your nature, which I'm just giving you a couple words to. Now, here's another part of your nature. It's equally strong. It's equally real. You have a Saturn/Mercury opposition that T-squares to Neptune in the twelfth house. And so your mind is really critical, and I mean that in all contexts of the word. You're constantly picking at things, and it's really well suited to editing, because you're picking at things. You're like, "That's not perfect. This should be like this. No, no. It should be like that." You're really picky, picky, picky, picky, picky.

                        And also, you are really interested in whatever line of thought you have. You're interested in it in a way that is consuming in such a different way than the Pluto stuff. This is consuming in that you're like, "Until it's fixed, it's broken. Until it's perfect, it's a work in progress." It's a very important part of your nature—is your mind. Your mind is on, on, on, off. That's just kind of how it goes. Does that make sense?

Mitzy:             Yeah, 100 percent.

Jessica:            And when it T-squares to Neptune, what this means is you are driven by idealism. You are driven by humanitarianism. You are driven by things that are connected to your vision of what the world either really is or what it really could be. And also, that idealism can drive you to get in your car and drive it for 50 miles—or 50 clicks, depending on what country you're in—past when there's gas in your tank. You can just empty yourself out if you believe in the reason why you're doing it. Does that make sense?

Mitzy:             100 percent.

Jessica:            And so this can be really hard on your health. This can be—

Mitzy:             [crosstalk] burned out.

Jessica:            Yeah. Oh, burned out is—it's an understatement, right?

Mitzy:             Totally. Totally. Totally.

Jessica:            It's like a terrible understatement. And the Pluto opposition to the Sun and square to the Moon can do that as well, but it's more in a way of, "I'm going to dig a hole until I reach the other side." And then you collapse, and you're like, "Oh, I can't dig a hole anymore because my hands can't hold the shovel," whereas the Neptune is like, "What is a shovel? What are hands? It's all an illusion. I'll just keep going."

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            You really do—you push yourself hard. These parts of your nature—plus others, but I'm just going to hang out with these two parts of your nature—speak to how meaning is your primary driver. And the project that you say is finished, that I say has evolved but is not finished—it's like, when I look at you energetically, it's like—you know in cartoons when somebody gets hit over the head, and then there's a circle of things around that person's head?

Mitzy:             Uh-huh.

Jessica:            Do you know that cartoon image?

Mitzy:             Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jessica:            That's what it looks like this project is for you. It's still swirling around you and really impacting you a great deal.

Mitzy:             100 percent.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             Yeah. Yeah. I think that, because I'm so, so close to the content, it's always around me. I'm always around it, if that makes sense.

Jessica:            Yeah. It does.

Mitzy:             I've started incorporating other things in my life kind of slowly in trying to work my way out of this burnout, just doing things that make me happy, like beading and having really intentional visits with people that I love. And I feel like that's always going to be there. It's just always going to be a part of my life regardless. But I am looking to diversify, I guess. I'm looking for the next spark, you know? There's things that I'm interested in, but this project was literally my life.

Jessica:            It was it. It was more than a spark. It was this thing that you seek, which is like—it was all-consuming. It had a million tentacles, which—your brain loves a million tentacles because it's like, "I will condemn these tentacles to meaning." You really love something that's too much. And it hit all the marks of having meaning and purpose and being a part of something greater.

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            But here's the fucking thing, and I would like to apologize in advance for what I'm going to say. I think you've asked me the wrong question. And the reason why I'm saying that is because you have not recovered. You are in a stage of burnout that—it's like burnout has so many different layers to it, and one layer to burnout is you're not even aware that you're burned out; you're just like, "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" You've passed that stage.

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            You know what's wrong. You're like, "I have to bead. I have to hang out with people that I like. I have to restore." So you're at that part of burnout where most people stop taking care of themselves because you're like, "I could pick up a shovel. I could start digging. I could pour myself into something new." But if you do that, you'll be doing it with 20 percent of the energy that you came at your last project with, which—honestly, you don't need to come to every project with 500 percent of your energy. But I understand the drive to want that spark.

                        Of course, you want the spark again. It's life-affirming, consuming. But this is the really annoying thing I want to tell you. Okay. Your Ascendant is at 0 degrees and 43 minutes of Capricorn, which means Neptune is squaring your Ascendant right now. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Doesn't happen to everyone. And it is a time where your identity and your sense of self is going through major crisis, crisis in confidence and questions. And it's not just about your identity and your sense of self, but it's also about your intimate relationships because you're like, "How do I fit with other people? What are my boundaries with other people?"

It's evolving, and it's hard. And to have this overlap with burnout, which—Neptune can often be associated with burnout because Neptune is—I don't know. Let's see. You were born in 1980. Maybe you saw Sesame Street, "There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza." Did you ever see that silly little cartoon thingy?

Mitzy: No, but I get—I know the song.

Jessica:            It's a '70s thing. Yeah. It's a '70s thing.

Mitzy: Yeah. Yeah.

Jessica:            So the point is you would like to be carrying around a bucket and putting in ideas and relationships and things, but it's not a bucket; it's a sieve. It's a colander. It is beautiful. It is capable. But there's holes at the bottom. And you need—you don't need to do anything. I want to encourage you instead to practice self-love and self-care enough to do more fortification of the self instead of trying to rush the next spark, because now you're old enough that you know the spark always comes. It doesn't come as quickly as you want. It doesn't come on your timeline. It doesn't always come the way you think it will. But you've not lived a life devoid of sparks of insight.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            No. The reason why it hasn't come at this time is because this isn't the time.

Mitzy:             Right.

Jessica:            I warned you that would be an annoying thing I said.

Mitzy:             Yeah. No, I totally get that. While I am transitioning out of this project—the bulk of it, the intentional, scheduled kind of work around finishing wrapping up this project—I'm like, "What's next?" I know that I need to take a break, and I'm planning probably the first real break that I've ever had since this entire thing started, like end of October.

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             So I plan on doing whatever it is that I am needing to do to get a break and take care of myself. I just am also—

Jessica:            You're also saying, "Okay, but what's next?"

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. Let me give you the answer. Let me give you the answer. Again, you're not going to like this answer. You're next. You're the next project. It's so annoying. I apologize. But self-care does look different in your mid-40s than it did in your late 30s, even. Neptune square the Ascendant—let me spare some words for this, okay? Again, this is a once-in-a-lifetime transit. So the first time this transit was exact was around April 20th.

Mitzy:             This year?

Jessica:            Mm-hmm.

Mitzy:             Okay.

Jessica:            Was anything in particular happening in your intimate relationships or in yourself right around there, a couple weeks after your birthday?

Mitzy:             Yeah. I mean, the next month, yeah.

Jessica:            Okay. So—

Mitzy:             In May, about a month later.

Jessica:            May was really, really intense. Okay. So my guess is that towards that end of April, things started to shift, and that they became really clear in May. And the thing that I want to tell you about this transit—it's not my favorite. It's not my favorite transit. Sorry.

Mitzy:             I don't think it's mine either.

Jessica:            No. Of course it's not. It's nobody's favorite fucking transit. It's a terrible fucking transit. I'm not going to lie to you. Let me tell you why I think it's terrible. You know how much I talk about boundaries. You know I'm obsessed with talking about boundaries. This transit teaches boundaries. And I talk about boundaries so much because I think they're important. I find them to be the most difficult thing to work on, which is why I'm not a fan of this transit, because it puts you in situations that are amorphous, like dealing with burnout, dealing with relationships where you're like, "Okay. This person did this thing, and it really fucked with me. But I understand their motivations." It's not black and white. Neptune brings you these layers of nuance that are—I'm doing this. It's like jellyfish. You know how jellyfish have all those tentacles? That's Neptune for you.

                        And it makes it so that the path to self-care, the path to negotiating boundaries, needs, wants with others is sticky. It's not clear. And it's sticky like lymph gets sticky. Do you know how lymph in the body—it gets sticky, and then it stops flowing? That's the way that Neptune gets sticky. It can inhibit flow. And so the risk with this transit is that you become escapist. And for you, the reason why you started this conversation by talking about how hard you push yourself in almost every fucking context—you really, really, really are like, "What are limitations? I don't have limitations. You have limitations. I don't have limitations." Right?

                        So, for you, going through something where you are being asked to just hang out in the uncertainty and the ambiguity and the not knowing is the hardest thing.

Mitzy:             Oh yeah. I don't like that.

Jessica:            Yeah. No, I know (laughs). It's your fucking nightmare. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to laugh. You're a double Capricorn; I'm a triple Capricorn. We have this in common. Somebody says, "Go dig a hole until you can't dig anymore," and you're like, "Well, that sounds hard. Okay." But if somebody says, "Hey, hang out in not knowing, and don't do anything about it," that's torture.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And that's what the transit teaches. I'm so sorry.

Mitzy:             I don't even like driving at night because I can't see what's next.

Jessica:            Yes. Yeah. I respect that. I'm 100 percent with you. Okay. Here's when the transit is over. Hold on.

Mitzy:             Please. Tomorrow.

Jessica:            No. No. 2027.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            Early 2027, but 2027.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            Yes. But on the heels of that, Neptune will start to trine your Venus. I'm going to tell you what it means; don't worry. Between now and early 2027, you're going through this really challenging transit. And then, as soon as it ends, this other transit begins, Neptune trine Venus. Neptune trine Venus can bring you romance and love. And for an artist or a creative person like yourself, it brings you vision. It puts you in connection with relationships where you can collaborate. It's spectacular for love and art and work because your Venus is in the sixth house, so it's the place of work.

                        What this tells me as an astrologer is don't do the work/do the work of Neptune square the Ascendant; either way, lovely things come for you on the heels. Here's why I want to pitch do the work of the Neptune/Ascendant transit that you're in right now, is because what might happen for you in about two years is so wonderful, is so wonderful that you want to have taken this rare opportunity to evolve in the way that this transit is trying to get you to evolve because, as shitty—it's so shitty—this transit can be—double Capricorn/triple Capricorn; I get it. It's so challenging to practice being.

                        Even your, "Okay. The way I'm going to slow down is by doing beadwork"—meticulous labor. Meticulous labor is your chill zone.

Mitzy:             But it's so meditative. I love it.

Jessica:            It is. It is. It's meditative, and it's like you don't innovate. It's like put shovel in ground. Put pressure. Lift shovel. Throw over shoulder. Shoveling, right? You like that. You like labor-intensive things. It sooths something inside of you. I don't want to take that from you. Beading is great. It's great for you. But what I'm getting at here is you're never going to have a transit like this. This transit is here to put you in connection with spaciousness, to teach you how to be in uncertainty and not feel like you're falling off a cliff, to let yourself have faith in your connection to—whether it's the universe, the divine, whether it's your connection to your own internal resources.

                        This Neptune transit is meant to teach you a layer of self-reliance that you've never cultivated because you have so many biff, boom, bam resources for self-protection.

Mitzy:             Yes. Yes.

Jessica:            Yeah. So you haven't yet had to or taken the opportunity to be like, "Oh. I am actually resourced in my connection to my intuition. I am resourced as a spirit in a body. I am resourced in my connection to my ancestors. I am resourced"—and I could keep going. How do you access those resources? Well, there's lots of ways, but the way you've done it is in a pinch. So, when things are on fire, you're like, "Resource. Resource. Resource." You can tap in.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And what the astrology is speaking to is how this is a time in your development where you're meant to hang out, breathe, notice what comes up, and resource yourself without an emergency and with—

Mitzy:             What?

Jessica:            I know (laughs).

Mitzy:             (laughs)

Jessica:            I know. I'm so sorry, and it's terrible of me. So to resource yourself without emergency—so let's hang out with that. I'm going to have you say your full name out loud.

Mitzy:             [redacted]

Jessica:            What's your mom's maiden last?

Mitzy:             [redacted]

Jessica:            Are you missing a name? Do you have another name?

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            Hold on. Are you sure you don't have another name? Do you have a spiritual name or something like that?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             [redacted]

Jessica:            Thank you. That's what I was looking for. How did you get that name?

Mitzy:             In a ceremony on the island.

Jessica:            Okay. The person, the place, the moment where you got this name—the person who gave you this name was a person who spent time in spaciousness, eh?

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            Is that person still accessible to you? Do you have a relationship with that person?

Mitzy:             I don't. I had a relationship with her mentor, who's passed.

Jessica:            Okay. There's—and I would like to apologize before I say this, because I see your birth chart. The last thing you are wired to do is be like, "I'm going to hang out in spaciousness and let the Universe bring me some insight when it's ready. No rush. It's cool, man." That is the opposite of your nature.

Mitzy:             Yes.

Jessica:            You are wired for speed and depth. I want to validate that. That's your wiring. But you are no one-trick pony. You are incredibly capable, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime period of your life that is inviting you to cultivate different parts of yourself, to tap into spaciousness, and to—okay. So I start to say—I'm looking at you energetically, and I'm like, "Okay. Tap into spaciousness." And when I look at you energetically, it's like the autobahn. In your spaciousness is like the fastest freeway with so much noise. And there's birds and stuff. There's lots of things there, but it's the autobahn.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And to hang out in a comfortable chair on the side of the fucking autobahn without needing to direct it, to analyze it, to do anything with it—allow yourself the gift of hanging out inside of yourself. Okay. Do you notice anything in your body when I say that?

Mitzy:             Yeah. I want to move.

Jessica:            I know. I was just like—

Mitzy:             Like, real bad.

Jessica:            Yeah. You're like, "I want to move." It's very intolerable. And unfortunately, that's the lesson right now. I apologize. I do apologize on behalf of the Universe. Neptune takes 165 years to move through the zodiac. So it's right now at 0 degrees of Aries, and your Capricorn Rising is at around 0 degrees. And so, unless you have—we're talking about this specific transit—a rising sign at early degrees of a zodiac sign that Neptune is going to be in during the course of your individual lifespan—right? Because a lot of people live to 65, not 165.

Mitzy:             Right.

Jessica:            So then the math doesn't hit you. So Neptune transits and Pluto transits are sometimes once-in-a-lifetime transits.

Mitzy:             So I'm just really lucky.

Jessica:            You know what? Here's the thing that's fucked up that I'm going to say to you. You are very lucky—oh my God, so lucky. And also, is there a way that you could see the project, the content of the project you are just wrapping up, as related to the need for spaciousness? Can you see the connection?

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm. 100 percent.

Jessica:            Yeah. That's the annoying thing. Here's what you did. You said to the Universe, "I'm inviting this in." And the Universe was like, "Heh." You do all this labor, and then at the end of the labor, you have to integrate the lessons. And so—okay. You're on a folding chair. You're facing the autobahn. You can't help yourself. You're like, "That's the autobahn. Let's face it." But what I'm seeing is behind you is land. It's space. It's water. You're just facing the autobahn. It's understandable. The autobahn is very busy. What, you want to turn your back on the autobahn? Who would do that?

                        But you have access to more inside of you than you have focused on, but you have focused on what anyone with your birth chart would do, which is like putting out fires, engaging with calamity, innovating and editing. You're hardwired for all of this, and this isn't bad or good. It's making the most of your nature is what you've done.

Mitzy:             I'm really good at it.

Jessica:            Yeah. You're great at it. You're excellent at it. And also, you really are going to be good at spaciousness in your way, which is to say bad at it. Bad at it. But when you choose it, you always have an experience—and please tell me true or false. You always have an experience where you are like, "Ooh. I accessed something really moving, something really important," when you actually hang out in spaciousness. But what happens is you're like, "Oh my God. This is a whole new level of myself," and then your whole nature is like, "Go back to action. Action will fix everything." Do you know what I'm saying?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             Yeah. I have a really hard time not doing something about something.

Jessica:            Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's your lesson right now.

Mitzy:             Oh.

Jessica:            I know. It is boundaries.

Mitzy:             See, and so—yeah. And this might not sound like a big deal to some folks that have been practicing boundaries or learning about boundaries their entire life, but I've really—the last two to three years was like my very beginning. I remember so clearly in my head the first time I said no to this one person in my life, and it was mind-blowing.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah.

Mitzy:             You know? Since then, I've really intentionally been trying to work on that and—

Jessica:            It's really hard.

Mitzy:             —slow down and take space. And it feels so wrong.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. So Neptune is the focal planet to a T-square. Neptune is devotional. And so, when people have strong Neptunes, as you do have a very strong Neptune, when you say no to other people, you fear that you are breaking them; you are harming them. And then, with the Pluto dynamic in your chart, the way that you make yourself space is by being of service or value to other people.

                        And so the combo platter is, if you leave well enough alone, well enough could be doing fucking anything. It could be conspiring against you. It could be breaking. It could be in need of your unique perspective. Well enough is never left better alone in the autobahn of your inner landscape.

                        The work of this period is to be curious about what happens when you don't do something about—fill in the blank. And because it's happening to your Ascendant, a lot of this is about one-on-one close relationships. So what happens when you don't do something about it? You're not in control is the answer. Now, truthfully speaking, you're not in control anyways, right?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            This transit—it makes you feel like you don't have a choice and you don't have agency. Neptune does that, when what it's really doing is pointing you towards adapting your inner life and not engaging in control issues with the people you're close to and in relationship to or even with your circumstances. Even as I say it, I feel so bad because it's the bottom of the Capricorn wish list. But it is what time it is. It is what time it is.

                        And you have been through really tough times. You've been through really tough transits. But this—I'm just telling you to hang out. I'm telling you to not do so much. Yeah, bead. Have you had enough water today? That's what I'm telling you to focus on. I know.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            You haven't had any water today.

Mitzy:             No.

Jessica:            No, you haven't. No.

Mitzy:             I had one cup of coffee.

Jessica:            Okay. Yeah. Hot tip. Hot tip. When we go through Neptune transits, one of the things that is a big part of the lesson is the boundaries you have with your body. So drinking water is always top of the list when you're going through a Neptune transit. It kind of makes you a little dehydrated. I don't know if you've noticed that.

Mitzy:             100 percent. I did have a little bit of coconut water when I took my supplements and medication this morning. Oh. Maybe this is a totally different—

Jessica:            Hit me. Hit me with it.

Mitzy:             —reading. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. And—

Jessica:            Were you recently diagnosed because you sought out a diagnosis, or were you recently diagnosed because somebody randomly came upon it?

Mitzy:             No. I was working with a therapist, and within the first few sessions, I was like, "I think this is going on." And they're like, "Mm-hmm."

Jessica:            Okay.

Mitzy:             Yes. And also other things.

Jessica:            So is it related—so this is the thing. ADHD is outside of my expertise. I have a very social media-informed understanding of what ADHD is, as opposed to a medically informed understanding of what ADHD is. So you have the marker that I often see for somebody who gets that diagnosis. Now, does that mean that I can say you have the marker for ADHD? I genuinely don't know enough about it. You have a Uranus square to your Mars. Zing, zing, zing, zing, zing. That's my diagnosis of that, right?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            You also have that focal Neptune, which is like you exist on so many planes at once. It's like the definition of nonbinary, not in the context of gender but in all contexts. Right?

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            And so does that make sense with—sorry, but right? Does that make sense with your experience of ADHD? I'm guessing yes.

Mitzy:             Okay.

Jessica:            Yeah. But in terms of when you would get a diagnosis—now, this transit can coincide with being pathologized. But the way you said it, it doesn't sound like this diagnosis is a negative for you. It sounds like it's a positive for you.

Mitzy:             I mean, it's really, really nice to be a zebra, not a failed horse.

Jessica:            Yes, yes, yes.

Mitzy:             Right? Because my whole life, I'm like, "What the fuck is wrong with me?" And, "Oh. Nothing. I have people."

Jessica:            Nothing. Yeah. This is just how you are wired. Yes. You were, up until not long ago, going through a Uranus square to your Mars, and that can coincide with your symptoms getting kind of apex. And so there's motivation for you to bring it to a therapist and be like, "Help me identify what the fuck"—because—okay. Let me tell you when this transit ended. Oh. It's actually not completely over. Yeah. That's why. That's why. So this transit will be over in early March of 2026. So that's actually the transit that's—

Mitzy:             So I'm just, like, going through this meat grinder for [crosstalk].

Jessica:            I wouldn't call it a meat grinder as much as—

Mitzy:             A cheese grinder?

Jessica:            —Neptune empties you out, but the Uranus square to your Mars—it accelerates symptoms of—I'll say it in my lane instead of in the language of psychology. What it does is it hyper-stimulates the physicality of nervous system activation and neurological activation.

Mitzy:             Oh, that's so rude.

Jessica:            I know. It's rude/I'm guessing the last year of your life, you got a lot of shit done.

Mitzy:             I mean, honestly, no.

Jessica:            You didn't?

Mitzy:             I don't know—I did a lot of things.

Jessica:            Yes.

Mitzy:             I went a lot of places and had a lot of conversations. But as far as actually completing something tangible, I didn't.

Jessica:            Yes. That's the transit. Yeah. That's the transit. So this is—okay. This is a perfect springboard. Okay. The Uranus square to Mars—Mars is activity, right? So it's like, "I'm doing this, and I'm doing that, and I'm trying this, and I'm trying that." But what you're actually talking about is, "I didn't substantively do things. I did things." Right?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            It's more on the surface. And that is kind of like nervous system activation behavior, like, "I'm doing things. I'm doing things. I'm doing things." But you have to slow down to get to the thing of the thing. Guess what: the Universe is like, "Cool, babe. Let's do that." Neptune is squaring your Ascendant. You want the benefit of meditation without all the sitting. But the Universe is like, "Actually, you have to sit."

Mitzy:             See, but I can sit and bead.

Jessica:            Yeah. You can sit and bead. You can sit and bead. You can also sit and talk to people that you have healthy connections with. You can pet a dog. You can do seven million things.

Mitzy:             [crosstalk].

Jessica:            Yeah. You could pet a dog. It would be so good for you. Animals are very good for you. Trees are very good for you. Connection to nature is very good for you. This transit doesn't care what you do; it cares why you do. Neptune is about the insides of your insides. Neptune is about your spirit. And so what Neptune square to the Ascendant is trying to get you to really tap into is what are your values, and how are you behaving that reflects your values? The reason why values is because  transiting Neptune is in your second house.

                        It is asking you, "Can you devote yourself to you? Can you nurture and care for you? Can you hang out in the nuance?" It's interesting you chose that aurora borealis because it's so Neptunian. It's like the vibe. It's the vibe. Lying under stars and waiting for the light show to occur is very Neptunian—not the getting the light show. It's the putting yourself outside and opening yourself up to, "When is the sky going to reveal itself to me?" That's very Neptunian. It's the lesson.

                        That's hard enough, right? But then, in the context of your interpersonal relationships, what often happens under this transit is you deal with sticky boundary issues where somebody tramples on your boundaries, and you have to identify it and deal with it, or you trample on their boundaries, and you have to deal with it. They identify it, usually, and then you have to deal with it.

                        The reason why this occurs is because it's a fucking Neptune transit but also because Neptune is connected to the energetics of how we're all connected. That's what Neptune teaches us. But we are spiritual beings having this human, material experience. The thing about our human, material experience is you and I can have this conversation, and then at a certain point, you might be like, "Hey, Jessica, I need to go. Somebody is at my door." We are actually in different physical places, and we have different lives. And there is a physicality to that.

                        If I say to you when you say, "Somebody is at my door," "No, don't go. You can't go. You can't leave me. No. You have to stay. Don't answer the door," I'm going to be really upset with you if you answer the door. Now we're in a Neptunian struggle because you've said, "This is what I need, and this is there I am," And I've said, "No. I need something different." And then do you abandon yourself to bend to my will, whether it's to take care of me, whether you think I have a good reason or you think I'm just being controlling—whatever. It doesn't matter. Do you take care of yourself? How do you take care of yourself?

Is taking care of yourself preserving the relationship with me by not going to get the door? Is taking care of yourself saying, "Sorry, Jessica," and then having to deal with the fact that you hung up on me later because I'm going to get mad? Do you see what I'm saying?

Mitzy: I wouldn't hang up on you.

Jessica:            I know (laughs). You actually should in my metaphor, in my stupid example.

Mitzy:             I would carry—if we're on Zoom, I would carry the laptop to the door and answer the door.

Jessica:            Okay. I'm glad I used this ridiculous—I thought it was a ridiculous example—because, in this, what you've done is you've figured out how to not say no to anyone. You answered the door for someone else. You didn't get off the phone with me. But is that not the most cumbersome action for you to take, to say hello to someone while also making me feel better?

                        So, in this little example I've given you, do you think about what you need? In my little anecdote, did you think about, "Well, what do I need? Is Jessica being unreasonable? What the fuck is wrong with Jessica?"

Mitzy:             Yeah. No.

Jessica:            No. And that's the lesson.

Mitzy:             Two years? Two years.

Jessica:            Dos años is another way of putting it. Deux ans—I'm just putting it in different languages to see if that feels less bad. Here's the good news of the two years. And you've been in it for some time already, right? Since the spring of 2025. The good news is this is too difficult of a lesson to learn in a year. So you can actually learn a lesson. The bad news is all the rest of the news. But hold, please. Let me just remind you of something.

                        Okay. So I don't know how good of a memory you have, but let's go back in time. So the last time Neptune crossed your Ascendant, when you were really little—it was like '84, so you were four or five years old. Do you know what was going on with your parents when you were about four or five years old?

Mitzy:             Oh, they split up when I was like a year and a half.

Jessica:            Was there anything going on with them at that time, though? Were they dealing with custody? Was your mom asking for financial support? We're talking '84, '85.

Mitzy:             I remember my fifth birthday, and I kind of remember some things between four and five. I don't remember anything about my parents, though.

Jessica:            Okay. And did you have a sibling born around that time?

Mitzy:             Yes. My dad was remarried and had my younger sister.

Jessica:            Okay. So I'm going to give you a little homework. It may or may not yield fruit for you. Go ahead and talk to both your parents, if you talk to them both, about what was going on in their lives around '84, '85, because at that time, Neptune crossed your Ascendant. So that was the only other time in your life that Neptune touched your Ascendant. Now, the reason why we turn to your parents is because you were too little—we don't look at transits the same way for little kids as we do for adults because you're an adult with agency, so if you decide to carry your computer to not hurt my feelings, that's your grown-ass fucking assessment, whereas when you're five years old, you have no real power.

                        So we look to what was going on with your parents. What were your parents modeling around boundaries? What were your parents modeling around pouring themselves into other people or not protecting you in particular ways? So that might be interesting because it laid a foundation to what's happening now. This is not about blame or anything, but it can be interesting, the context.

                        I'm going to pause myself for a moment and see if you have any questions about any of the stuff I'm talking about in the context of self-care or in the context of relationship stuff.

Mitzy:             I think—sorry. This is going to be such an Aries thing.

Jessica:            Hit me. Hit me, Aries. I'm ready. Yeah. Let's go, autobahn.

Mitzy:             Oh, I—no, I shouldn't.

Jessica:            No, no. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Mitzy:             Okay. So I've been doing this work for a while. I've been feeling it. You've clearly just named all the things I've been experiencing. And if I work really hard at this, could I get through it faster?

Jessica:            No.

Mitzy:             Yeah. I didn't think so.

Jessica:            No. But that's really a good idea. A person going through burnout should just push themselves harder and go faster. That's great logic.

Mitzy:             No, I mean, like—

Jessica:            No, no. That was great logic, Aries. Ironclad thinking there. No. No. That's not how that works. This is what you can do, though. Let's say you're going through the transit, and you really get the lesson. You're like, "You know what? I'm going to tap into my guidance. I'm going to do spiritual work. I'm going to do that with healthy boundaries. I'm going to really commit myself to cultivating and engaging with the messiness of interpersonal boundaries," because it's always messy. "I'm going to practice being of service without completely pouring myself into other people and projects. I'm going to practice self-love, self-worth, self-care. I'm going to do all of these things." And it's month after month, and you're just a fucking rockstar, and you never falter. And it's like you get better and better at it.

                        Then the lessons continue, but they're just not as hard. That's possible. Do the lessons, all of a sudden, magically stop happening? No. It's just you're working with the energy instead of against the energy. When we're going through squares, transits that are squares—which is what you're going through—it's like you're turning a corner. It's exactly what you described about driving in the night that you hate. You can't see what's around the corner, right?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            What's around the corner? From here, you can't see what's here. So that's what's so challenging about squares. Now, if you're just like, "You know what? I avail myself to not knowing what comes next. I completely—I've transformed my whole, entire nature, and now I magically am cool with not knowing what comes next"—if you were able to do that, then you would just keep on practicing.

                        So this is my pitch. This is my pitch. This is better than what your Aries idea is, okay?

Mitzy:             (laughs) Okay.

Jessica:            Instead of trying to rush past the lesson, strive to be open to and interested in pouring yourself into a project that will last just under two years more. And this project is of getting to know yourself in a way that you would never choose to get to know yourself but you can objectively understand is a good idea. Right? Right?

Mitzy:             Uh-huh.

Jessica:            I know. Within this, what comes next, that spark that you did ask me about—it will emerge. Now, will it emerge during this transit? Probably not, but absolutely maybe. I only say probably not because you came to the transit burned out, and so your assignment is to deal with the burnout. Here's a fun fact about burnout. It takes your body and your spirit a long time to recover because it's not exhaustion; it's exhaustion-plus-plus-plus-plus-plus.

Mitzy:             I saw—and this probably doesn't encompass anything spiritual. I've heard, like, three to five years—

Jessica:            For burnout. I've heard that, too.

Mitzy:             —[crosstalk] physically. Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah. I've heard that, too. And when I experienced severe burnout myself once in my life, it did take me at least three years to recover. And when you recover from burnout, if you actually do the work of striving to recover, you don't return to where you were before the burnout. You evolve into a healthier, more embodied version of yourself. Learning the lessons of, "Oh, wow. I can. I can drive my car with no gas, no oil, and I can force that fucking car to keep going"—you can do that, and you love yourself enough for it to not be worth the cost.

                        That said, if—God forbid—you should need to drive your car that hard again, you know you can. We don't want to throw away your capacity, your ability, to work that hard in a high-pressure situation, because I do know what your film was about, and it was so important. It's not like I'm saying to you, "Hey, you shouldn't have done that. That was the wrong thing to do." It wasn't the wrong thing to do. It was the right thing to do. And now this is a different right thing to do. This is the next right thing to do. It's to love yourself enough to not just recover but to nurture yourself through the process of recovery.

                        Now, telling a Capricorn Moon and a Capricorn Rising to nurture themselves is rude. But it's also the assignment. And this is a really important assignment. It's not going to happen again. You're not going to live long enough for this to happen again. Yeah. And also, around you will be other people who are navigating their boundaries and doing it just as messily as you do it. Some people will be better. Some people will be worse. Some people will be ruder. Some people will be more gentle—whatever. That's part of the transit. It's to recognize we all have limitations, and we navigate our limitations poorly because of the world we live in, because of how hard it is to say to oneself, "This is my capacity."

                        And there's a beauty in it, and there's grief in it—both, right? And your nature is, "I'll focus on the beauty. I'll focus on the grief." But what this transit is asking you to do is to understand that the grief is the shadow of the light of the beauty. They're connected. It's not, "One is bad, and the other is good." One might feel bad and the other one feels good, but they're actually—your capacity to experience grief is a gift. I mean, it's a fucking shitty gift, I understand. You know what I mean? It's a liability. But it's also a gift.

                        Your capacity to remain present when things are hard is a gift. And it's not a gift you've figured out how to give yourself yet. And that's what this transit is here to support you in. How do you give that gift to yourself? How do you allow yourself to experience grief without distracting, self-harming, fixing, trying to jump on the autobahn and race the cars? How do you do that?

                        This transit is the transit that's teaching you that. As I set up me sharing this transit with you, it's like I apologized on behalf of the Universe. I know this is not a lesson you would want to learn. Nobody does. It's a fucking annoying lesson to learn. Again, if I told you to walk from your hometown across the country, you'd be like, "Okay. That sounds hard. I'll do it." But this is a kind of hard that fucks you up because the labor is to not labor. The work is to not work so hard. I know. It's rude. It's so rude. I'm so sorry. I know. I know.

                        The way to heal the grief is to give yourself space to be with the grief. The way to honor the beauty is simply to notice the beauty. And hold on. Do you have a substance abuse stuff? Do you have any kind of history or current situation with substance use?

Mitzy:             Like caffeine and nicotine?

Jessica:            Okay. Stimulants. You like stimulants. So you may need to shift how you relate to those substances because—I mean, I don't blame you. You've got that Uranus/Mars square, and then you've got that focal Neptune. What these two things mean is your body is just like a car. It wants to go. And Neptune is like, "But I only have a spoon. I have a single spoon. How am I supposed to do it? I don't have the spoons." Right? And so you can take stimulants, and they can, like—so that you don't have to deal with all that Neptunian need for rest. You can just bypass it. Yeah. Yeah.

                        But that's actually the move, is you need rest. You know, the kind of Neptune you have—one of my go-to pieces of advice is you need a certain amount of time—and it changes day to day, every single day—where you sit and you stare at a wall; you do nothing.

Mitzy:             You know what's so crazy, Jessica, is that I just keep laughing so hard. This is what I've been trying to do. This is what I've been trying to do. Literally, every single morning, I sit. I have this huge, round, thick, fat corduroy—

Jessica:            Nice.

Mitzy:             —cuddle chair. And I look out my window and see the trees and the mountains, and I drink my coffee for an exorbitant amount of time every morning.

Jessica:            Yep.

Mitzy:             And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it."

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             But for me, that is the most space I've given myself in my entire life.

Jessica:            And [crosstalk].

Mitzy:             And I've just been so proud of myself for being like, "Oh, I'm not going to do that extra thing."

Jessica:            You should be.

Mitzy:             "I'm going to take a long time drinking my coffee." And what I'm hearing is, like—yeah, no, that's not even meeting the bare minimum.

Jessica:            No, no. That is the bare minimum. That is the bare minimum. That is.

Mitzy:             Okay. Great.

Jessica:            That is. That is.

Mitzy:             Great.

Jessica:            It's more than the bare minimum. Is the coffee helping you? No. Am I going to tell you to quit coffee? Also no. Drink the fucking coffee. Embrace the coffee.

Mitzy:             I did get a MUD/WTR order, so—

Jessica:            Oh, great. Okay. Yeah.

Mitzy:             I'm trying.

Jessica:            I like it. I also like that dandelion—what's it called? Do you know what I'm taking about, the dandelion one?

Mitzy:             Oh yeah.

Jessica:            It's so yummy.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            But that is not the bare minimum. That's exactly it.

Mitzy:             Great.

Jessica:            Okay. So what you are hearing is, "I have to be better. I have to work harder at relaxing." And that's not what I want you to hear. You're already on the path. You've already understood the assignment, right?

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            It's just that—okay. So, for you, in this moment, sitting and embracing a long coffee morning and really being like, "I'm going to just fucking make eye contact with mountains. I'm going to make eye contact with trees"—okay. That's where you are in the first six months of the transit. Great. After a certain period of time of doing that, it's going to feel like less labor. Saying no to things is going to feel less foreign. Okay. And then something else is going to emerge in that space. Maybe the beadwork becomes something that opens you up in a different way to—I don't know—ceramics or just breathing more.

                        Maybe you start to be more practiced in allowing relationship dynamics to be uncertain, to allowing not knowing what's around the corner when you drive at night—you don't have to force that.

Mitzy:             I just need brighter headlights.

Jessica:            No. I mean, maybe yes. I don't know what your car is. Maybe yes, but also, do you know what I'm saying?

Mitzy:             I do.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the work. This is the work. You're doing the work. And the problem with this kind of work is it's not quantifiable, and you can't show anyone the results. How do you show people the results of, "Look. I was relaxed all morning"? It's really hard. It's really hard. But you have understood the assignment.

Mitzy:             That's the thing. That's the thing that's so hard. That's why I like beading, because I'm like—it's meditative. I can do that kind of meditation. It's like one bead at a time, one tiny, little—

Jessica:            Yep. And there's something to show for it at the end.

Mitzy:             Exactly. That's the thing.

Jessica:            That's fine.

Mitzy:             It's so satisfying.

Jessica:            You don't have to become something other than what you are. Stay with what you are. Somebody else might develop a sitting practice with nothing material to show for it. You don't have to be that person. You're a double fucking Capricorn. You're good. You're good.

Mitzy:             Thank you.

Jessica:            You're welcome. You're welcome. It's about embracing the meaning underneath it. If beading is the thing that helps ground the restlessness of your inner autobahn, fucking gorgeous. Go for it. It's about recognizing that first you develop the skills to be able to do the stuff alone, and then you have to be able to apply them in regards to, "What's my next big project? Where's my spark?" and, "What's going on in this relationship? What's going to happen next?" and on and on it goes. And that's really hard. It's hard for you. It's hard for most people, but it's hard for you. And that's the assignment. And that's the assignment.

                        When you try to make things more secure, stable, and certain, you may have already noticed since the spring they become less secure and certain, not more, because this is not the time for you to grasp with both hands and say, "I'm going to make this happen," in your life. This is the time for embracing yourself and hanging out in that uncertainty.

And it is relevant in my thinking when we look at what's happening in the world between politics and the climate and all the things. I mean, you get that. That's actually easier for you. Because you're so tapped into trauma and ancestral trauma, you actually are like, "Yeah. I actually know how to be in the unknowing, in the uncertainty, of these huge issues related to collapse in the world." But because this is hitting your Ascendant, when it comes to relationship stuff, that's not where you have that skill. That is not where you have that skill.

You're just like, "I can make this better. I will carry the camera, the computer with the Zoom. I will open the door. I will make the person at the door feel welcome and comfortable, and I will not drop eye contact with Jessica. I will find a way." And that's specifically not what you're supposed to be doing under this transit. It's giving yourself permission to say, "I'm going to adapt so that what I'm doing is more sustainable in my personal life."

Mitzy: Okay. I got this. I got this.

Jessica:            You do.

Mitzy:             I've been deleting apps on my phone for a period of time. I've been literally turning my phone off, which I've never, ever done. I can only do it for like 15 minutes at a time.

Jessica:            That's great.

Mitzy:             But I'm like, "Okay. I can keep doing that."

Jessica:            Progress is progress. Don't think about small progress and big progress, not during a Neptune transit especially. Progress is just progress. Turning your phone off for 15 minutes is progress. If you turn your phone off for 16 minutes, that's also progress. If you turn your phone off for 14 minutes, that's also progress. And if you can just practice validating—any amount of progress is an articulation of starting from a place and advancing. So, when you go from your home to the beach, you make progress. Even if you stop to pick up water and then you stop to pick up a friend and then you pull over to text someone or call someone, you're still progressing towards the beach. If there's no specific time that you have to be at the beach and it doesn't matter when you get there, it only matters that you moved in the direction until you arrived.

                        And that's how I want to encourage you to think about the evolutionary process of making progress. Some days, the best thing to do is to get in your car and go to the beach, and other days you make a million stops, and that's the best way to get to the beach—the beach being the pinnacle in our metaphor.

Mitzy:             I can hear my brain trying to just figure out how to be the best at going through this transit—

Jessica:            Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Mitzy:             —like how to win, how to win going through this transit.

Jessica:            How to get to the beach quickly and relax completely once you get to the beach to have the perfect beach day.

Mitzy:             Exactly.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            So what you're doing right now is perfect. You're noticing your brain. That's all. The goal should not be to have a different brain than your brain. The goal instead is—it's not to not have an inner autobahn. Girl, she's an autobahn, okay? It is just a very busy freeway with a lot of stuff in it and around it. The goal should instead be to honor the autobahn but also to be able to get up, turn the chair, point it away from the autobahn and towards limitless nature. It's to recognize that you are not a one-trick pony. Your one trick is a good trick. It's a good, busy, multi-tiered trick. But you are not just that.

                        You are also the part of you that can tap in authentically to the interconnectedness of things and hold space for nuance and uncertainty. That is a huge part of your nature. It's just not noisy, and it's not as, quote unquote, "high-functioning" in capitalism and colonialism and all the things. And so you're like, "Autobahn. Autobahn. Busy. Busy. Win. Fight. Go." And you do not want to get rid of that. Let's be clear. The voices don't need to go away. The drive to win rest does not need to go away.

                        It simply is about—this is the time to cultivate and center a different part of yourself so that you have more agency and choice with that loud "I need to win this fucking thing" part of yourself so that you can tap into that part when you need it, because you do need it at lots of times. But when it's time to make eye contact with a fucking mountain and do some damn beading, you can be like, "Yeah. That's a noisy part. But I'm not focusing on it. I'm not centering it."

Mitzy:             I'm not just in the emergency.

Jessica:            Correct. And honestly, even as I said that, I could see something in your spirit being like, "Huh. Okay." You don't have to throw it away. You don't have to throw it away. You don't have to stop wanting to win rest. It's just recognizing, "Oh. The desire to win rest is coming from a part of myself that needs to learn how to rest. Okay. So I'm going to focus on rest." And this is the thing that I love about astrology and I think is a good companion to psychology, is that it's like psychology might say, "Okay. So the best thing to do is x, y, and z." But astrology is like, "Do x, y, and z, but like a Capricorn Moon. Do x, y, and z, but like an Aries." Right?

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            You can't all of a sudden be something you're not. That's not a good goal. It's to be within your nature to find relaxation. So, within your nature, relaxation is, "I must sit in a specific kind of chair, and it must be a specific kind of beverage. And then I will do the labor of beadwork." That is the most relaxing thing you can do because you're not a Pisces; you're an Aries. That's good.

                        Giving yourself permission to be who and what you are—but not just that, to be when you are. You are on the tail end of an intense form of creativity and labor that was incredibly high stakes. And because you care, your system needs time to integrate what you were a part of, what you've witnessed, and what's still yet to come. And that you can work with, actually. That you can work with.

                        There is a way that—hold on. Let me just make sure I'm seeing this right. Yeah. There's a way that your work has changed the world, and I know people don't know what your documentary is, but your work has changed the world and will continue to change the world. And you have not yet had the space or the tolerance for integrating it so that it can change you. You've let it change you because, "Go, go, go, go, go." So it's like you've gotten dents in your car, and then you've gotten upgrades on your car.

                        But this is like a whole other layer of integration of the work. And as you allow it to really change you, everything you've been through—let it really get metabolized and change you—then you'll be different enough to meet the next spark, whether we're talking about in your personal life or your creative life, your professional life. And yeah.

Mitzy:             They're all kind of smooshed together.

Jessica:            They're smooshed together. I agree. That's what I see, is they're smooshed together. And also—hold on. Hold on for a minute. Hold on. I'm going to speak briefly and vaguely to your love life, okay?

Mitzy:             Okay.

Jessica:            You are at a wall. You are at a wall. And everything in your nature when you reach a wall is, "No." You are just like, "We break down walls. We do not hang out at walls. We gnash and grind our teeth at walls, or we slip into depression at walls." Right? You have a way that you have engaged with walls before. But I'm going to speak in very spiritual terms. This is what I'm being shown to share with you.

                        You are at this wall for a very real reason, and that reason has nothing to do with the person that you're in relationship with. You are being invited in the way that guides love to invite—it's always very fucking like, "Really? It had to be this hard?" But you are being invited to be where you are and to tap into your guidance, your ancestors—whatever the language you use for this is—and ask for help and hang out and receive that help, not so that you can figure out what to do, but so that you can figure out how to be where you are with self-love and to not attach outcome to process. The outcome can only be identified in hindsight, right?

Mitzy:             Mm-hmm.

Jessica:            The process you're in right now is you're at a wall. And this is actually not a bad wall. It's a sad wall, but it's not a bad wall. There are bad walls. This wall is not harming you, actually. It feels sad and bad, but it's not harming you. It's not destructive to you. And your guides are showing me that when you tap into that, you feel the sadness and you're really in your body. But when, instead of tapping into that, you're like, "I can't be at this wall. This wall is not where I want to be. No, no, no, no, no, no"—when you go into that Aries, "I'm going to fix it. I'm going to move it," then you feel chaos. And it's really hard for you to hang out, and you lose contact with your guidance. You turn away from your guidance, and you face the autobahn.

                        And what I'm being shown is that whatever happens in this relationship, you're not supposed to have that information yet. That's not the point right now. And when I say that, I don't mean to be insensitive. But it's like, from your guides' perspective, they're just like—they have such a big fucking perspective. They're just like, "Yeah, you're sad for six months. Who cares?" But that's not real. That's not humane. But also, that is the perspective I'm being shown.

                        This wall that you're hanging out at is an invitation for a level of self-love and patience and self-care that you have yet to perform for yourself. But you're there. You're hanging out just on the precipice of choosing yourself, just on the precipice of choosing yourself. And I want to just validate that for you, because I actually think your capacity for happiness—like true happiness, not just pleasure or ease, but happiness—is growing. And it's growing in this moment where there's a great deal of grief and fear, and I just keep on seeing this wall. There's nowhere to fucking go.

                        Because you're hitting this wall, there is only one place to go. It's inside. And through the practice of that, there is going to emerge a level of happiness that you've not yet experienced because some of what happened in the relationship that I'm referring to cultivated connection for you to you, but the person that helped you connect to yourself—you lost track of the whole thing that was so wonderful was you were connecting to yourself. And then you started connecting to the person and thinking that was it. That wasn't it.

                        And so now you're in this place of connecting to the self and developing a more loving, sustainable relationship to yourself, a healthier relationship to yourself. And whether or not this other person comes back or shifts or whatever is literally—I'm just seeing from your guidance it's not the point. Seek answers. Guess what you'll find: no answers. There's no answers for that because—

Mitzy:             It's none of your business.

Jessica:            It's none of your goddamn business. It's because any answer takes you away from the actual assignment, which is you developing a love relationship with yourself. That's the actual assignment. And you're right there. It's like you said. You're fucking sitting in a corduroy chair, just making eye contact with fucking mountains. You're right there. And it's just slow. It's just slow.

                        And this is like—no. Sorry. Your guides are like, "That's it. Just say that, and don't say anything more." Okay. So I'll shut up. All right. Your guidance was like, "Okay. That's it."

Mitzy:             Zip it, Jessica.

Jessica:            Zip it. I know.

Mitzy:             They're very bossy.

Jessica:            They're bossy, very bossy. They're just like—zip. Okay. Fine. I stopped talking. That's what I needed to tell you about that, but I did need to tell you about that.

Mitzy:             Thank you.

Jessica:            Yeah. You're welcome.

Mitzy:             I know. I can imagine how infinitely, like—I don't know. Do they get frustrated?

Jessica:            Our guides?

Mitzy:             Is that a thing?

Jessica:            No.

Mitzy:             Great.

Jessica:            I have not encountered guides getting frustrated. But also, they have this perspective on our lifespan—so teensy.

Mitzy:             Right.

Jessica:            Months to them—they don't care. You want to spend five years chasing your tail? You want to spend two decades in terrible relationships? You want to spend your whole, entire lifetime fucking yourself over? That's cool. You got other times. You got other chances. They're just like, "You do you. I'm here when you need help." That's, I think, their attitude.

                        And the truth of the matter is we're only ready for what we're ready for when we're ready. And there's just no other way. Your little Aries self is like, "No. I should have done this by now." That's not true. You do it when you do it, or not. It's not bad or good. It's just what it is.

Mitzy:             It's so interesting. It just makes me think of—so I have, in general, maybe this much patience.

Jessica:            The tiniest amount.

Mitzy:             Right?

Jessica:            Yes. Yeah.

Mitzy:             The tiniest, teeniest—just a speck that is reserved for special occasions.

Jessica:            Yes. Yeah.

Mitzy:             But when it comes to teenagers and young people, I don't even need patience because I have no expectations of them on what their capacity should be. They're just like, to me—oh, I'm going to cry. They're like the most beautiful versions of human beings.

Jessica:            Wow. It's really interesting because most people hate teenagers.

Mitzy:             This is what I'm saying.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             I have, like, next to zero patience for any other humans.

Jessica:            Yep. Yep.

Mitzy:             You know, like grown-ups.

Jessica:            I know. I'm so sorry. But to kind of answer your question, our guides are kind of like you are with teenagers or I am with toddlers.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            I'm just like—limitless energy for toddlers. But the thing that I think is so important in all of this is that you figure out how to give yourself the same grace that you give teenagers.

Mitzy:             I do have a teenage boy inside of me that just gives zero fucks and—

Jessica:            It's a great thing to have.

Mitzy:             —does all the wild and crazy things, so—

Jessica:            Yeah. So—

Mitzy:             —I think he just needs to sit down with my inner grandma.

Jessica:            I mean, you've got an inner grandma, an inner teenage boy. You've got a lot of very loud parts. Yeah.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            And sometimes it's like being able to be like, "Okay. Everybody's hanging out in the kitchen, and that's what's happening. And I don't have to participate or direct or anything. I can just be, and be receptive." Easier said than done, but it is the assignment right now.

Mitzy:             Okay.

Jessica:            I know. I know. I know it's hard, but I also know you're pointed in the right direction.

Mitzy:             I am going to win at this.

Jessica:            Yeah. You're going to win. And not winning? Yeah. You're going to win at relaxation.

Mitzy:             It'll be fine.

Jessica:            You're going to crush it.

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Well, my dear, I'm sorry you're going through a tough transit, but—

Mitzy:             Yeah.

Jessica:            Yeah.

Mitzy:             I mean, we knew something was going on.

Jessica:            Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. It had to be something. We found the thing.

Mitzy:             Yeah. Great. And now I have tasks.

Jessica:            You have tasks. You have an assignment.

Mitzy:             I love some tasks.

Jessica:            Yes. Yeah. We love a task. Thank you for joining me.

Mitzy:             Super helpful. Thank you so much, Jessica.