I’m not a fan of V-Day ‘cause it makes single folks feel lonely and coupled people feel pressured. So in defiance of Hallmark and low-quality/high-calorie chocolates in heart shaped boxes I present to you the Be Yours Horoscopes for 2014. Everyone is talking about their romantic life (or lack thereof) today, and I say: let's talk about self love! The only way to have a healthy love life is to be healthy in how you approach it. Cuz loving yourself comes before you can love anyone else, today and every day.
March 21-April 19
Co-dependence is not a four letter word but it might as well be. When you love somebody it’s easy to take advantage of them because the comfort that you have can lend itself to emotional laziness. The best way to protect the relationships you care the most for is by being willing to take care of yourself. Honestly communicate where you’re at without expecting others to feel the same, or share your perspective. Co-create your relationships, Aries.
April 20-May 20
It’s best when you’re not rushed, Taurus. Love needs time to grow and the right conditions to flourish in, and that all takes time to develop. Pair soulful self-reflection with steady action in matters of the heart. You are capable of so much! You are able in the realm of intimacy and also with the maintenance aspects of partnership. Give yourself the space and time to choose the right people and situations to thrive in, my friend.
May 21-June 21
It’s important that you know why you want the relationships that you have. Some people are good for hanging out with and some folks are the ones that you can love and trust in the long haul. We tend to need both kinds of relationships and you’d be wise to make sure that your life is not too lopsided. Cultivate many kinds of love to support what (or who) ever is most important to you. As the adage says: it takes a village to keep a Gemini happy.
June 22-July 22
Pain has a funny way of clarifying things or making them somehow more pure. That’s because when your survival instincts are engaged your thoughts can quiet down. When your gut instincts don’t have to compete for attention to be heard, they are so much easier to heed. Don’t wait for heartache to teach you how to rely on yourself, Moonchild. Develop ways of checking in with yourself and your heartfelt intuition before you need to.
July 23-Aug. 22
Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed before you tell your loved ones what’s going on with you, Leo. You’re not responsible for taking care of everyone and everything, but you are responsible for yourself. This means that you’ve got to be honest about how close to your limits you are before you hit them. There’s no need to rush; you’ll get the most from your love life if you prioritize being present, wherever that is. The future will eventually meet you here.
Aug. 23-Sept. 22
It’s hard to connect to people in a way that nurtures your soul when you’re stuck in a stance of self-protection. Your relationships require you to do the right thing; live by your code of ethics and honor the expectations you’ve created. But that’s all. You get to have boundaries and limits that support you, Virgo. Identify what you need and either create it or request it from those you purport to trust. Relationships travel on a two-way street.
Sept. 23-Oct. 22
The people that you attract to your life and choose to keep around reflect a lot about who you are. If you can’t trust your lovers (of both the platonic and romantic variety) then why do you keep them close? It’s time to take stock of your relationship choices and make sure they reflect what’s in your heart and your best interests. There’s no need for immediate action; pursue a fact-finding investigation about the role you play with the love you’ve got.
Oct. 23-Nov. 21
When you feel upset and life bums you out, the worst thing you can do is try to cover up those feelings with fake cheer, Scorpio. You feel your emotions from a very deep place inside of you and need to tend to that place in a healthy way. Make sure that you spend enough time alone to support yourself, but not so much that you get to brooding and make things worse. It’s a magic combination and you’ll only hit it with practice and patience.
Nov. 22-Dec. 21
It’s no secret that you like to go big or go home as yours is the sign of limitless possibilities. When it comes to love and sustainable human intimacy there has got to be limits to what we can give and get, though. Allowing for healthy adjustments to your relationships only helps you and your partners to be more true and free. Don’t lock and load who you love; let intimacies develop in ways that work for all parties, even when that’s uncomfortable.
Dec. 22-Jan. 19
If you look for the worst, it's not hard to find it, and if you’re all filled up with fear and self-hate, then it leaves very little room for anything else to come in. You’ve got have self-love in order to attract and take in the love of another. Confront your demons, Capricorn, and do it with compassion for how they got there and how they’re screwing you up now. The worst you can do is enable yourself to stay stuck in a rut that keeps others at bay.
Jan. 20-Feb. 18
Your independence is a huge part of who you are, Aquarius, and you shouldn’t have to change that to be loved or to have your relationships function in a healthy way. The thing that you do have to be flexible about is how you express your autonomy to others. Be generous with how you express yourself, especially if you feel defensive about your need for space so that you don’t create the very dynamics that you are trying to avoid.
Feb. 19-March 20
Kick the habit of putting others before yourself, Pisces. Get inspired by the people you care about whether it’s reciprocated or not. This is not the time to get caught up and slowed down by your insecurities. Dare to be more and to assert who and what you are firmly and with kindness to the people you want to be close to. You can take up space and take care of those you love at the same time; one does not have to come at the expense of the other.